Hi, I'm in Cleveland.

Tomorrow, I am off on a work-related adventure to Cleveland--the armpit of America's Rust Belt (I am a two-time Rust Belt Road Trip survivor, so I'm very familiar with the various parts of this passage way through America's depressed industrial landscape's anatomy).

[Side-note...when you enter Gary, Indiana the first thing you see, as in many U.S. cities is: "WELCOME TO GARY, INDIANA"--wait for it, on the buildings of the sewage treatment complex! Nothing like a little shit to let you know you've arrived.]

My upcoming trip reminds me of a great scene from an even greater movie, Wayne's World.

Catcalls, Let Me Know I'm Home

A funny thing I missed in London, oddly enough, were catcalls. The Brits are far too polite (read: repressed) to let a lady know she's smokin', especially a lady they've never met before.

Here, in New York, not to say something to a female as you pass her in the street is borderline rude. I am a feminist, and I would hate to simply be sexualized; but in combination with intellectual praise, points for good humor, high fives on accomplishments, a "hey, mommy, how you doin'?" is a nice reminder that I'm in New York, I'm a "mommy" (whatever that means), and that I've managed, without so much as a gesture, to grab the attention of that construction worker.

Of course, some catcalls cross the line; anything with specific reference to my anatomy, for example, is immediately met with a stern look, and if I get the balls someday, maybe even a swift kick to the shin.

"hey, mommy..."

This is NOT Nepotism, This Kid is FRESH!

The guy who created Mad Men has spawned the potentially funniest, boldest, most stylin' 8 year old on earth. He asked for a top hat when he was three. Enough said.

Watch the slideshow (after you finish reading my post, of course):
http://men.style.com/gq/features/landing?id=content_8377

This is Arlo Weiner's mini-golf outfit (his brother has clearly surrendered any sort of attention-seeking rivalry) . I die.

Quoted on GQ's blog (yeah, he's 8 and GQ is featuring him), Arlo says about jeans and sneakers, “They’re really not my thing.” Lady killer.

I Voted for You, Now Get Off My Back & DO WORK!

A 4-PART HAIKU,
COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING
STUCK IN THE OBAMA EMAIL
LIST QUAGMIRE

the excitment mounts
with every new addition
to my inbox box

anticipating
an offer or a meeting
but no, it's just you

it's the third email
in this past hour, i get it
you must! inform me

i am unemployed
so quit the emails, barack
unless you're hiring

Put Your Seatbelt On...This Gets Ranty

Sorry to be Debbie Downer, but something international/political/religious has really been bugging me--and we should all get bugged about this together.

To put the back story quickly, in Brazil, a 9 year old girl (recall this fact) was raped by her stepfather and impregnated. With twins. Again, she is 9 years old; she weighs 80 pounds. Fatima Maia, director of the hospital where the girl was treated, said the pregnancy posed a serious risk to the girl. "She is very small. Her uterus doesn't have the ability to hold one, let alone two children," Maia told the Jornal do Brasil newspaper.

Wisely, an abortion was performed, despite the illegality of such procedures in very Catholic Brazil (judges can make exceptions when the pregnancy is the result of rape or there is a danger to the mother--in this situation, both were the case, and a judge allowed the procedure).

The Archdiocese of Olinda and Recife in northeastern Brazil has brazenly stepped up their vocalization against the abortion, in this SPECIFIC case, beginning with making a statement against it...proclaiming that this little girl, this child, should have carried the babies to term and had a c-section. This 9 year old girl. Then, the Church excommunicated the little girl's mother and the doctors involved in the case. And finally, the Vatican has come out in defense of the Archbishop who did the excommunicating deed, saying, "It is a sad case but the real problem is that the twins conceived were two innocent persons, who had the right to live and could not be eliminated."

I know the Catholic Church may seem a bit hypocritical if they were to, instead of lambasting an INNOCENT 9 year old girl, say, come out with a firm statement proclaiming the ongoing sexual assault of a child as disgusting, inexcusable, and the "real problem" of this entire story. Where is the mention of retaining the innocence of the victim? Is the value of her life, her childhood, her future less important then that of those she was carrying, against her will, against her own body's biological capability?

I don't care where you fall on the Choice spectrum...this story does more then trigger a debate, it exemplifies why all people, the faithful and the skeptical have to keep pressure on the religious institutions that put their version of the word of God before personal freedoms, progressive thought and even the health and safety of a 9 year old rape victim.

I just realized...

...I've written two posts recently about SLUTS. I want to publicly state that sluts are great...I mean you no ill-will. If I was a little taller and had a bigger rack, I'd probably be a slut too...these posts obviously stem from jealousy.

Erin Go Push-Up-Bra...

I always loved Halloween in the same way that many kids do. There's pumpkin carving, costumes, and of course, candy that lasts months on end. To me, it's a day for children to revel in make-believe, get high off of their faces on sugar, have an epic stomach ache/pass out on the come down, and wake up to tally another awesome costume onto their lists. I can also see why some adults may want to partake in a little Halloween fun--their is an element of fantasy...you can break out from your humdrum existence of suits & ties or jeans & converse (depending on your type); you can partake in some excessive imbibing (much like any other NYC holiday, but this is like getting drunk and method acting simultaneously).

What I do not understand is why some adults, certain female ones, take unsexy & common professions/animals/childhood characters and convert them, and Halloween in general, into All Sluts Day. There was a great moment on that pranking puppets show on Comedy Central where Sarah Silverman called a costume store, and after requesting several typical slutty costumes--nurse, cat, schoolgirl--she asks the clerk if they sold any sexy "Hitler costumes."

I mean, why not just dress as strippers? Or Barker's Beauties? Or a nudist? Why sexualize completely unsexual things...nurses, I guess I get (have you seen those printed scrubs and rubber shoes they wear...HOT!)...but cats? A pirate? Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz--the beacon for all things wholesome and youthful? A fucking S.W.A.T. team member?

Apparently, this trend is about to infiltrate my absolute favorite NYC shitfest/holiday--St. Patty's Day. I walked past a store today, and guess what was in the window?

I suppose she's a sexy version of this guy: