I just realized...

...I've written two posts recently about SLUTS. I want to publicly state that sluts are great...I mean you no ill-will. If I was a little taller and had a bigger rack, I'd probably be a slut too...these posts obviously stem from jealousy.

Erin Go Push-Up-Bra...

I always loved Halloween in the same way that many kids do. There's pumpkin carving, costumes, and of course, candy that lasts months on end. To me, it's a day for children to revel in make-believe, get high off of their faces on sugar, have an epic stomach ache/pass out on the come down, and wake up to tally another awesome costume onto their lists. I can also see why some adults may want to partake in a little Halloween fun--their is an element of fantasy...you can break out from your humdrum existence of suits & ties or jeans & converse (depending on your type); you can partake in some excessive imbibing (much like any other NYC holiday, but this is like getting drunk and method acting simultaneously).

What I do not understand is why some adults, certain female ones, take unsexy & common professions/animals/childhood characters and convert them, and Halloween in general, into All Sluts Day. There was a great moment on that pranking puppets show on Comedy Central where Sarah Silverman called a costume store, and after requesting several typical slutty costumes--nurse, cat, schoolgirl--she asks the clerk if they sold any sexy "Hitler costumes."

I mean, why not just dress as strippers? Or Barker's Beauties? Or a nudist? Why sexualize completely unsexual things...nurses, I guess I get (have you seen those printed scrubs and rubber shoes they wear...HOT!)...but cats? A pirate? Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz--the beacon for all things wholesome and youthful? A fucking S.W.A.T. team member?

Apparently, this trend is about to infiltrate my absolute favorite NYC shitfest/holiday--St. Patty's Day. I walked past a store today, and guess what was in the window?

I suppose she's a sexy version of this guy:

Lessons on Forgiveness, from the King of Civil Rights

No, not Martin Luther, Rodney.

I'm not sure if any of you are as debase as I in your television watching repertoire; but I have been known to take a gratuitous pause when I channel-land on some less then quality programing such as (but not exclusively):

*Housewives of [Orange County/Atlanta/New York]
*Rock of Love [Bus]
*Dog the Bounty Hunter
...etc...etc...etc...

Because I take the time to give these fledgling programs a chance, I have come to know and love the only truly historically relevant, and by that, famous person ever to be on reality television--

RODNEY KING!

Now, we all know that Rodney was enjoying a little Jesus-juice when he was pulled over and then outrageously and monstrously beaten right off of an L.A. freeway...but what we never would have known is that he went on to become a desperate alcoholic. How do I know that, you ask. VH1's ironically addictive Celebrity Rehab followed up by Sober House (or some title to that effect).

Why does all of this matter? Well, aside from the trauma of a horrific beating, the acquittal of those horrifying beaters, and then the subsequent deadly riots that followed--Rodney has somehow managed to recover from an intense alcohol addiction, cohabitate with Gary Busey, AND, on top of that, forgive those disgusting 5-0s--all in 2 seasons of a reality show/spin-off.

It's odd to actually have a moment of emotional movement while watching VH1, but when Rodney King is standing on the freeway, marking his beat-down spot with flowers and a bible, and then goes on to read a forgiveness letter to the assholes who committed the heinous crime, it makes you think.

Well, it makes me think--things like, could I forgive those assholes? Why can't Rodney be a goodwill ambassador and get this whole Mid-East conflict resolved once and for all? Can't we all just get along? Can't Rodney just say that one more time?

The New York, Underground

A HAIKU
My morning commute
A man on a bench. Oh, no--
He's masturbating.

No one on the corner has cravings like her...

I know I don't really blog...on the regular...but my two favorite famous people shared a stage last night at the Grammys...

One of them was 9 months pregnant, and one was probably high off of cough syrup (looking in your direction l'il Wayne).

Anywho...this video deserves a post: